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The Exchange Teacher

by James Curtis

At the recent August Day Class, Miss Prim gave each of her pupils a photograph of an adult school boy or girl being punished. Each pupil was to write an essay based on the photograph. This is what James Curtis wrote:


"The new exchange teacher is rather good looking," said Sara, an adult schoolgirl at Muir Academy. "Quite fit and athletic!"

"Careful," said Mary, also a student at Muir, "I don't like the look of that bat strapped to her case, it's certainly not for baseball!" Little did they both realise that before too long one of them would discover it's true purpose.

It was Mary and Sara's habit to walk by the river after tea and before prep. Exercise was not the prime reason for their perambulations for both girls had a weakness for tobacco. The river walk suited them as it took them far enough away from the school to minimise the possibility of detection. They did not want to pay the penalty for smoking which was six strokes of the cane from the headmistress.

Dawdling along they puffed away until Mary's attention was distracted by an unusual bird. "I'm not sure what species that is, so you carry on Sara and I will catch up shortly."

Sara carried on absent-mindedly blowing smoke rings until to her horror she realised she was not alone. There watching her intently was Miss Birch, the exchange teacher, who had been jogging by the river. Caught red handed! "I'm new here young lady, " said Miss Birch, "but I do know that you have just qualified for six strokes of the cane."

"Oh please don't report me Miss," begged Sara, terrified of a meeting with the sadistic old dragon who was headmistress.

Miss Birch, sensing an opportunity to make an early mark on the school, replied that she was happy to deal with the matter herself and that Sara was to report to the gymnasium where she would make the acquaintance of the paddle.

Sara reached the gymnasium not at all keen to meet the cane's American cousin. Miss Birch duly arrived, looking fit and formidable and carrying with her the dreaded paddle.

Meanwhile, Mary had realised what was going on and sneaked up to the gym to listen to the proceedings. In truth, she fancied the new teacher and was considering owning up, to experience a taste of the paddle for herself.

Crack, her thoughts were interrupted by the first stroke. "Wow," said Mary, "Blimey." By the time two more whacks had found their mark Sara's pain filled voice was added to the chorus. After the final stroke had been delivered, Mary beat a hasty retreat, all thought of confession long forgotten.

Sara sobbed her way back to the school building. "I've given up smoking forever."

Miss Birch strode back to the staff room, pleased that word of her severity with the paddle would quickly resound around the school and proud of a job well done.

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