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by Frank Peters
My guardian sent me to the Muir reform academy, because I've been particularly naughty, unruly, and have been expelled from my last 3 schools, and I've got rid of governesses and tutors.
I went for my interview, and because of my confidence that the interview was a scare tactic on the part of my guardian, I was horrified when my imminent departure for school was announced.
Crying shouting and bad behaviour did no good, and with a fluttering heart, letter from guardian in hand, I alighted from the school train. Miss Prim met me herself, and took me to school. I arrived the night before, and we boys were allowed by Maam to go to the pub.
After breakfast next morning, I stood in line with the rest of my fellow pupils. We were a very mixed class, Edward, Steve and myself for the boys, and Sorrel, Tessa and Hope, (an American pupil for the girls. Hope and I were the only completely new pupils, however any hope of favours on this account quickly were dispelled.
Entering the classroom, it was less than a minute before I was in detention. I'd not learned the school hymn, though in fact I knew it better than I thought, and was able to join in almost as well as anyone else, with the exception of Hope, who put all the experienced pupils to shame. At kit inspection, I escaped, except for a smack on the hands because my nails were bitten. Others weren't so lucky though.
The first test of the morning soon followed. It was a spelling test, not my best subject. However I did OK, getting 32 out of 48. Hope again came top, which proved to be the start of an American triumph that was almost as predictable as the Olympics. It was then that I learned the first of my Muir traditions. Steve came bottom, and soon found himself over the punishment stool, receiving 6 of the best with a paddle.
During the second half of the test, and the written English test that followed, Miss read our guardian's letters. At intervals she would say "--- in defaulters". I wasn't going into defaulters on my first day. That I knew. Absolutely no chance. "Peters you're in defaulters" followed as surely as the chimes of big been at midnight. My bleats of protestation were smothered by the threat of punishment there and then, and the test continued.
After a break, including the offer of chocolate cake which I declined due to fear of what was to come, we had another English and a wildlife test before lunch. I kept up a reasonable standard, except that my first visit to the punishment stool happened, after I "swore". I still don't think that what I said was swearing, but rule 11 came into play. My bottom and the paddle met, but fortunately my shorts were on, so it didn't really hurt!. However the voice from heaven that reminded me to count is something for which I will be for ever grateful.
Lunch was cottage pie and rice pudding. I found it hard to eat, I'd heard so much about defaulters, and my normally huge appetite deserted me. I managed to get out of rice pudding, though I don't quite no how. I nearly got punished at lunch-time for rolling a cigarette in front of Maam. I escaped by the skin of my teeth.
The afternoon followed the same format, except that the maths test at the start of the afternoon was hard. I got 24 out of 30, but couldn't answer 4 of the questions in braille. I didn't come bottom though!.
The afternoon finished with a poetry lesson, and we all wrote a poem. I enjoyed it so much, that I've started writing poems on my bedroom wall at home.
After the classes had finished for the day, we were allowed a cup of tea, and then Defaulters!!. More cake was offered, but I think I would have recycled it. I was shaking by this time, and only just was able to grip the condemned boy's last cigarette.
I was first in. Miss Prim was at her most severe. My guardian's letter had mentioned my destruction of 2 pieces of very expensive equipment, and a rude message that I'd written on my guardian's computer screen. I received 6 strokes with the gym shoe, 6 with the slipper, and 6 with the cane. These last hurt!!.
When I returned to the library, my bottom was sore, but I felt proud that I'd got through it. The others went in in turn, until we were all summoned into the presence. Prizes were presented, to Hope, the class creep, for coming top in everything. She was also the only one who didn't make defaulters. I got smacked legs for putting on the mortar board which I found next to me, after which school finished for the day.
I know my guardian wants to send me back, and Miss Prim said that I would be attending the school for a long time. I enjoyed meeting all my fellow pupils, and hope to see them, and some more pupils soon.
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